Singleness Is A Gift From God
Singleness Is A Gift From God - Bring biblical wisdom to perplexing issues around the world by making a gift to our international work. The Keller Center for Cultural Apologetics helps Christians show unbelievers the truth, goodness, and beauty of the gospel as the only hope that satisfies our deepest desires. It helps to train Christians to boldly share the good news of Jesus Christ in a way that communicates clearly to this secular age.
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Singleness Is A Gift From God
Around 35 per cent of adult church members in the UK are single, so it is clear that celibacy is of significant personal interest to many people in our churches. Each individual will have a different experience. There are age differences. Being single in your 20s is very different from being single in your 30s, 40s, or 70s.
There are circumstantial differences: some have never been married, while others are divorced, widowed or widowed. And there are differences in experience: some have chosen to be single and are basically happy; others want to get married and feel frustrated. So much of our society is structured around couples.
It is often assumed that adults want a partner and that there is something strange about them if they don't have one for a long time. Oscar Wilde summed up the view of many: "Celibacy is the only known sexual perversion". There is nothing new in this negative view of celibacy.
1. Singleness Is A Gift From God.
In the 1st century, Rabbi Eleazar said, "Any man who has no wife is not a fit man." The Talmud went even further: "The man who is unmarried at the age of 20 lives in sin." Against this background, it is surprising how positive the New Testament is about celibacy.
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Paul speaks of it as a "gift" (1 Corinthians 7:7), and Jesus says it is good "for those to whom it was given" (Mt 19:11). A friend of mine once belonged to a church group of young adults called "Pairs and Spares". Singles can feel like spare parts in families, social groups and churches.
One man was so tired of being asked, "Are you still single?" who began to answer, "Are you still married?" We must resist the implication that celibacy is the second choice. The Bible doesn't say that. Marriage is fine, but so is celibacy: it has been "given" to someone.
But what if I don't think I have the "gift" of celibacy? I don't think it's easy to be alone and I want to get married; Does that mean I'm experiencing "second best"? No. When Paul talks about celibacy as a gift, he is not talking about a special ability that some people have to be happily single.
2. Singleness Has Advantages.
Rather, he is talking about the state of being single. As long as you have it, it is a gift from God, just as marriage will be a gift from God if you ever receive it. We should receive our situation in life, whether celibacy or marriage, as a gift of God's grace to us.
When God saw Adam alone in the Garden of Eden, he said: “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make him a helper fit for him" (Genesis 2:18). Thus Eve was created to satisfy Adam's need for companionship, and the two were united in the lifelong sexual relationship of marriage.
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While the New Testament is positive about celibacy, there is no doubt that marriage is considered the norm. It is God's loving gift to humanity and the primary context in which our desire for intimacy meets. Single people are therefore likely to struggle with loneliness and sexual temptation.
These struggles are certainly not unique to being single, but they are part of being single. Some will try to reduce them by getting married. Others will choose not to marry or feel unable to because of circumstances, personality or sexual attraction. They will likely face a lifelong struggle with loneliness and sexual temptation.
3. Singleness Is Hard.
These two games are closely related. The more alone we are, the more likely we are to struggle with sexual fantasy and fall into sin. We must be proactive in seeking help in these areas. We are not designed to be alone, and if we do not want to get married, in the short or long term, we should try to satisfy our need for intimacy in other relationships.
This means taking the initiative to keep in close contact with friends and family. And we must be self-disciplined when we "flee from sexual immorality" (1 Corinthians 6:18). It often helps to have a close friend or two to whom we are accountable in this area.
Many who are currently single will one day marry. Others will remain single for life. But no Christian is single forever. Human marriage reflects the marriage God wants to have with His people forever. The Bible speaks of Jesus as the bridegroom who will one day return to take his bride, the church, to be with him in the perfect new creation.
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On that day, all pain will disappear, including the pain of a difficult marriage or celibacy. God will wipe every tear from our eyes and a great cry will be heard: “Let us rejoice and be glad and give Him glory! For the marriage feast of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready" (Revelation 7:17; 19:7).
4. Singleness Is Not Permanent.
After talking about heaven, an older single lady told me, "I can't wait for my wedding day!" We should all share the same hope. And we can already experience something of the intimate marriage with Christ here on earth by the work of the Spirit in our lives.
Human relationships matter, but none are as important as our eternal relationship with Jesus. Vaughan Roberts is Rector of St Ebbes Church in Oxford and is President of The Proclamation Trust. We introduce two tools: the "Spectrum of Consciousness" and the "How Not to Judge" flowchart.
Bring biblical wisdom to perplexing issues around the world by making a gift to our international work. The Keller Center for Cultural Apologetics helps Christians show unbelievers the truth, goodness, and beauty of the gospel as the only hope that satisfies our deepest desires. It helps to train Christians to boldly share the good news of Jesus Christ in a way that communicates clearly to this secular age.
What does it mean to live single in today's world? Some men are single in their 20s, others in their 60s. Some are single by choice, some by adverse circumstances. Some have always been single, others become single again after divorce or the death of a spouse.
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